But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
