what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
