I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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