Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
