just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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