so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
