Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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