Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
