it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
