i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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