I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
