no, he came in my armpit
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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