And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
