are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
