also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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