whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
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After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
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Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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