WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
