another moral hangover. fuck.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
