Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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