I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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