Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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