I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize