Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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