I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
