i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize