last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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