I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
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