why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Sorry about my life...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
