Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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