Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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