she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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