I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
