The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize