im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
