She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
