do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
