Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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