He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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