More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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