We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
