We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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