In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
