Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I AM VODKA MAN
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
