his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
