So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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