I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
