the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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