i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
