Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
