Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
