2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
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I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
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He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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