Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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