i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just high enough for therapy.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
