I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
