I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
