I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
