He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
